I had a strange ride this morning. I've started talking to myself. Maybe this is normal, like singing in the shower, or yelling at Tyler Perry sitcoms. I past a cast off bag of fast food this morning and as I sped over the strewn french fries I found myself in a kind of zen-like, sorta, deep fried trance. It went kinda like this: What was this person thinking, tossing out perfectly good french fries? Why didn't they take them home and save them, or at least dispose of them in the proper receptacle, Why am I thinking about this? Long silent meditative pause......, (maybe two miles). Wow, I really haven't thought about shit on this ride. So, in conclusion as this is designed to be a blog about thoughts generated by my bike commute, I have to say, today, there weren't any.
With that said, I have thought of some things at other times of the day than on the commute. I've been thinking about being a dad a lot. This is due to the fact that in a few short months, barring any issues, this is going to become a reality. I have been reading and talking, witnessing and observing, at times stressing and blissing out on the prospect of raising a child with my wife. I read an article this morning on the new trend of "laid back" parenting. I'm not sure I get it. It seems to me, and of course I have no actual experience, that an "approach" to parenting is a slippery slope. In my career as a teacher the plan is a starting point and each day takes on a flavor of its own dependent on events. I kinda think parenting may work the same way. If I come to the table with an approach, won't circumstances just blow that theory out the window, door, or what ever opening needs to be created?
I think that when I meet this kid, a girl according to professional interpretation of the alien-like pictures we've seen, I'll begin to formulate a strategy as I go, realizing that each day brings a new set of challenges and hopefully successes. This is how I've lived so far with a modicum of success. Each day is a fresh opportunity to rethink, and work for a greater goal than the day before. I look forward to being a dad like nothing else and not just because it's a challenge but because it is growth.
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I am into attachment parenting. Actually, I just followed my own intuition, but I have been told by others that my approach is "attachment parenting." It's based on indigenous cultures and athropologic models. You can read the lastest issue of MOTHERING MAGAZINGE if you are interested. It's a wholistic magazine published here in Santa Fe. Or, check out the book OUR BABIES, OURSELVES. Anyway, not everyone has the time or desire to raise a child in this manner, but this style stresses breastfeeding, not putting a child on any sort of schedule, and holding the baby as much as possible rather than putting it down or letting it cry. Following this model is said to produce confident beings without unnecessary trauma or insecurities. I like the idea of teaching a baby that Earth is a safe place and that she can trust people. To me, it makes sense that creating a peaceful planet begins at home, and it begins with the way introduce human beings into the world.
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ReplyDeleteAn approach will be required sometime around the age of 10 days old. A unified approach is the best. Having a goal in mind,whether it be "independence", or "open-minded"... how you react to situations presented to you by your kid, how you work through frustrations with yoru partner... every minute decision you make adds up to an approach. If you try to NOT have an approach, that is an approach. In most cases, I think, those with no approach end up being ruled by their toddlers... :) OR frustrated with their partners. Good luck! :) You'll figure it out, of course. Perhaps on your way to work!
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